Urkel Dance

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

The Urkel Dance was popularized by Family Matters, a series on ABC's TGIF block of shows. It was responsible for more than 239 deaths in 1992 alone.

How to Do the Urkel Dance

Now if you want to do the Steve Urkel Dance, all you have to do is:

1. Hitch up your pants.
2. Bend your knees.
3. Stick out your pelvis.
4. Get beaten into a bloody pulp by anyone in the general vicinity.
5. Point your fingers up to the sky.
6. Talk through your nose, way up high.
7. Spin and dip and jump and cavort.
8. Gouge out your eyes with a rusty spoon, and quietly pray for death

What to Do If You or a Loved One Has Performed the Urkel Dance

• Remain calm. Breathe deeply, and if you are the victim, attempt not to make a snorting noise of any kind.
• With both hands, firmly move the waistband of the victim's pants down from just below the armpits to the general vicinity of the hips.
• If you find the victim wearing suspenders for some reason, remove them, seal them in a plastic bag, and burn them as soon as possible.
• Check that the blinds and curtains in your house are closed, to make sure that no one else witnessed the dance.
• If you witnessed or performed the dance, you may experience a strong desire to kill yourself. This feeling is natural, and probably entirely correct. Nonetheless, resist the urge, and until it passes, keep yourself and/or the victim away from cutlery, pens, gardening tools, or any other implement that you might otherwise use to blind yourself.
• Call 911 and report a U.D.I. (Urkel Dance Incident.) The dispatcher will know what to do. Be certain you remain on the line until help arrives.
• Remember: The sweet embrace of death, however tempting, is not your best option.
• OK, maybe it is, come to think of it.