The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer was a program first broadcast by an advanced civilization from a planet circling the star Beta Orionis (or Rigel) over seven hundred years ago.

After traveling through space for 773.2 years at the speed of light, the first episode of Desmond Pfeiffer was received at the Very Large Array in Puerto Rico in the spring of 1998. The first evidence of intelligent life in the universe set off a media frenzy, but the show was quickly forgotten when White House intern Monica Lewinsky drunkenly flashed a surprised George Stephonopoulos during the annual Spring Break edition of ABC's "This Week".

Correctly believing that Desmond Pfeiffer was better than anything they had in the can -- which, admittedly, was not saying much -- UPN bought the footage and aired it that October. Unfortunately, a program about the butler to the Monarch of Rigel, Qwerty the Unforgettable, proved to be tepid fare for UPN audiences, especially since all the dialogue was in Rigellian. The show was quickly cancelled and replaced by reruns of the slightly less short-lived Star Trek: SVU.