The Cuban Missile Crisis
From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.
Missile Crisis is a very simple dish that can be whipped up in a matter of minutes to impress guests at a dinner party for in-laws, many holiday events, or any other Cold War-type occasion. This recipe is for a Cuban Missile Crisis; the end result should be spicy, smoky, and contain just a hint of the metallic taste of fear.
Ingredients:
- Green onions, two cups chopped
- Canola oil, one tablespoon
- One ripe plantain
- Chili powder, quarter teaspoon
- Cayenne pepper, pinch
- One chipotle pepper, chopped
- Stock of Paranoia, sixteen ounces
- Four heads of brinkmanship, crushed
- Parsley
Equipment:
- Wok
- Large soup pot
- Family-sized bomb shelter
Instructions:
Begin by heating oil to a sizzle in wok. As oil is heating, peel and cut plantain into quarter-inch discs. Once oil is hot, drop in plantain discs. Leave in until brown. Remove from heat and drain of oil.
Place Stock of Paranoia in pot over medium heat. Add chili powder, cayenne, and chipotle, and bring to a low boil. Drop in green onions and brinksmanship and simmer until the acrid smell of impending doom fills the room. Should take 5-7 minutes. Remove from heat.
Retire to bomb shelter with plantains. Spend several minutes crying and praying to a merciful God for deliverance from the Godless Communist Menace. For best results, continue for twenty minutes or until God answers back. (Note: Philosophies on prayer vary. Some may want to consult their spiritual advisor for advice on length and nature of prayer.)
Return to kitchen and drop plantains into Stock of Paranoia. Garnish with parsley and serve at room temperature. Serves anywhere from three to a nation of millions.
