Talk:Bears

From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.

Poppycock

That's ridiculous! Not only are bears cute and fuzzy, but they live in complete harmony with humans. You have nothing to fear from bears. Bears are your friends.

Don't worry about that brown bear peering amicably through your window at you from the middle of your rutabaga patch. He is simply passing through and means you no harm. Fret not over that majestic grizzly you awoke to find hovering over your bed last Friday night. He simply got lost on his way to use your restroom, where he fully intended to lift the seat before urinating and lower it again immediately afterwards. Waste not a moment's concern over the small kodiak you found tucked harmlessly beneath your car this evening as you left the office, and most certainly don't entertain any paranoid thoughts about that nine inch stiletto in his paw. He had simply followed an errant bee down there, and he planned to use the knife to cut a piece of succulent honeycomb from the bee's nest; not, I repeat, NOT to hamstring you as you got into your car and then gut you stem-to-stern while you writhed in helpless agony on the tarmac.

No, sir, bears are indubitably your friends. And you would do well to remember it. We know where you live. Bobo 02:00, 1 April 2006 (PST)

Gentle Ben also needs a mention -- bears were far more prominent in it than Grizzly Adams, who wasn't even a bear!