How the Grinch Stole Christmas
From TeeVeePedia, the Internet TV Encyclopedia.
Contents |
Background
Angered that somebody had "stolen" his favorite parking spot at the local shopping mall on Black Friday, Dr. Seuss decided to get his revenge, declaring a rap feud against Santa Claus. Unable to shoot an AK-47 at something as vast as "Christmas", Dr. Seuss decided that the best revenge would be to release a music video condemning the Christmas holidays and all they stood for.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas was originally a 22-minute rap designed to play as a 12-inch disk at rave partys. As originally performed, How the Grinch Stole Christmas made liberal use of the F-word and other derogatory terms. However, while shooting the video for How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Dr. Seuss ran into problems as nobody could stand the cold of Antarctica for the entire length of the song. In a stroke of brilliance, Dr. Seuss did a radio edit of the song and redid the entire video in animated form. As a result, he was able to sell How the Grinch Stole Christmas as a children's television program to CBS executives, who naively broadcast it as a Christmas special.
Plot of How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Warning: Spoilers in this section
How the Grinch Stole Christmas tells the story of The Grinch, an Earth-loving Neo-Pagan who, as the story opens, is at his mountain retreat ready to celebrate the Yule festival with his life partner Max. His attempts to quietly meditate about the changing season are constantly interrupted by loud noises from Whoville, a village in the valley below. Investigating the situation with his high-powered telescope, The Grinch finds that the noises are coming from Christmas shoppers running up their credit card debts in hopes of outdoing their neighbors.
Realizing that the materialism of the Whoville residents is ruining the Yuletide spirit, The Grinch drives his fuel-efficient hybrid car down the mountain and into the village. Arriving at night, he finds the village empty, as the residents have all gone inside to play video games and surf the Internet for pornography. Believing that drastic action is called for, The Grinch steals the town's Christmas decorations in the hope that the townspeople, seeing their material goods gone, will come to realize the true nature of the holiday season.
Arriving back at his mountain retreat at daybreak, The Grinch trains his telescope on Whoville again, hoping to find the residents happily celebrating the season despite the lack of presents. He shockingly discovers that, thanks to overnight deliveries of new Christmas presents by Fed-Ex, the situation is completely unchanged.
His health ruined due to an enlarged heart and his spirit broken, The Grinch sadly gives up his Neo-Pagan ways. As the story ends, we see The Grinch, having dumped Max for perky cheerleader Cindy Lou Who, driving a brand new pickup truck with a huge Hemi. The Grinch has completely assimilated into the ways of the other Whoville residents as Christmas Day turns into a long dark night.
Reaction
The stunned look on the faces of the children of CBS viewers told network executives all they needed to know about How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Outrage over the program was immediate and general: at one point, CBS phone lines were jammed up for over eight hours with complaints. Realizing that their television network had been duped, CBS quickly sold the rights to How the Grinch Stole Christmas to Ted Turner, who was celebrating the holidays at his Montana ranch and had not yet heard about the controversy.
Dr. Seuss, believing he had won his victory, went to Las Vegas with his mentor Suge Knight to celebrate. His triumph was short lived, as was he; Dr. Seuss was gunned down in a drive-by shooting by supporters of Santa Claus soon after his arrival. After six days in a coma, Dr. Seuss was declared dead. In a final insult to the legacy of Dr. Seuss, his body was cremated and his ashes spread over the Northwest Territories, official home of Santa Claus.
Effects of How the Grinch Stole Christmas
To this day, nobody else has dared to release a work as critical of Christmas (or the holidays in general) as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Those who fight against Christmas in the War on Christmas are now labeled as "Grinches" and are forced to max out their credit cards buying Christmas decorations and presents.
Surprisingly, Ted Turner still occasionally airs How the Grinch Stole Christmas on his many networks, mainly to spite Christmas supporter Rupert Murdoch. How the Grinch Stole Christmas is also shown annually on Adult Swim at 3 AM Christmas morning, and was also shown on Tech TV during the holiday season prior to that network's takeover by G4.
